re⋅li⋅gion [ri-lij-uhn]
–noun
1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2. a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3. the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4. the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5. the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
6. something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.
7. religions, Archaic. religious rites.
8. Archaic. strict faithfulness; devotion: a religion to one's vow.
That's a lot of definitions for one simple word, no? From the start it needs to be stressed that 'religion' defined at it's basic form has very little to do with God. It's /how/ you worship your chosen God. So let it be said that how you worship God means much less than the fact that you DO. To clarify, the fact that you acknowledge that there is a God that is greater than you, no matter what He/She/It has or hasn't done, means more than how many masses you went to last Sunday or how many times you circled Mecca on your last hajj. The basic understanding that God is there and God exists and there is a place beyond what we can see and feel and touch where God resides is a part of our collective history. From the first caveman that realized that he was more than the sum of his parts we have this collective yearning for something beyond what we know as real.
Why is it so unusual that so many religions have become increasingly similar over the generations? What makes one religion more special over another? Nothing. The religions became so similar because of a human's nature to live in a certain way with the people who share the same spaces. The closer together we become as a global society the more similar our religions (and our way of life) become. It's a natural occurrence, as natural as seeing American jeans on a French teenager or a keffiyeh on the neck of a Taiwanese fashion model. One religion seeks to assimilate another through violence (jihad), by sending in agents (mission), or simply by moving in and taking over the joint (any major religion). The purpose of all these? To bring more members to a certain method of worship. To be a part of the whole and save them from damnation.
Seems pretty wholesome when seen in plain script. That's fine. Let it happen. What you do to worship and how you worship mean very little when it comes to actually aligning with God. It seems to me that the real relationship between our Creator and ourselves has become blurred with the outsourcing of religion as a whole. Somehow the method has become more important than the message. No matter what that message happens to be. Now that it's been explained how the Church of Cow sees religion in the eyes of humans, let's define what the Church of Cow finds to be religion.
First of all, God is important. But God is not always as important as we, as humans, make Him (for lack of a bi-useful pronoun in the English language, no actual gender is implied) out to be. Why? Well, God doesn't have an active hand in the lives of human beings. And if He did we'd all be nothing but mindless drones willing to bleed on a whim. That's not much of a life. And civilization would most definitely fall apart. No, if God is indeed omnipotent and omniscient, we have to realize that He would NOT want to have an active role in our day-to-day lives. Period. Micromanagement sucks. Ask anybody who works a desk job.
Secondly, it's kind of arrogant to assume that God is good. God is neither good nor evil. God is God. God doesn't want you to suffer? Why on Earth would you say that? Maybe you were born to suffer. Did you ever think about that? Maybe you were born to show someone else a lesson in life. It's ignorant to assume that God is in it for us alone, willing to swoop down and save the day. He never has and He never will. Because He is God. And you are not that important. Well, at least most of you. ;)
Thirdly, God does not have to actually say to the void that the void exists. God is the void. God is all things. God could have a celestial case of indigestion and cause the destruction of every sentient species in the universe and you would never know. 'Let there be light' is such a misnomer it makes me sick reading it in the Bible. God is light. God is dark. God is boogers and pond scum and rocks and semen and hairballs and detergent and.... Maybe you get the picture, maybe not. You sort of have to be all things if you are both omniscient and omnipresent. Get it?
Fourthly, God is convenient. God cannot be called, beckoned to, hearkened, or persuaded. God is God. If you believe in the third point you realize just how stupid you are for thinking you can shout forth into the night and expect the presence of God to come to your side. He was already there. Idiot. God does what God will at God's pace and that's the way it is. Seriously, since when did any parent put down an important call for some two year old saying variations of 'Mother' repeatedly for twenty minutes? Never. Until a sufficient amount of frustrated anger builds up and then...POW!
Fifth, and last, God really doesn't give much of a damn about you personally. Sorry to burst your bubble, there. God has a lot more to deal with than your specialness crying out for more teeth whitener and a way to get that hot girl at school to pay attention to you. God even let Jesus suffer ad nauseum (supposedly) before giving him the sweet embrace of death. After the life of Jesus, what makes you think God gives a crap about your hemorrhoid? Pun definitely intended. This isn't to say that God /won't/ pay attention to your pains and problems. As already stated, He is everywhere and obviously can hear anything you say. But what kind of a life lesson is it when you get off scot free after thumbing your nose at destiny? You want fewer hemorrhoids? Stop sitting on the freaking toilet palming your pud for three hours every day. :P There, God spoke to you through me. Don't you feel complete?
Using all the above you might start to realize that religion really doesn't have that much to do with God at all. Religion is lessons via world regions that pertain to the people who live there. What kind of God do you think the internet will produce? Maybe this one. You never know.
