Book of Dance II

1 Now that Adam has become the First Real Human, he does what all Real Humans do. He settles down and begins to put words to represent the things around him. Creatures, plants, animals, items, nothing can escape the Creative Mind of Adam. Happily the first Hippy enjoys the fact that he knows better than to put his hand in a fire. Yea, it is so. After a time, however, this First Human becomes bored. Now that things about him have their names, the everyday rigor of cave life becomes tedious and stupid. Adam realizes that a 9 to 5 is most definitely not the way to enjoy his newfound Awareness. In a fit of pique Adam requests from God a mate worthy of his Mind.

2 Having heard the pleas of His most special Hippy Lovechild, God brings together the form of the perfect female. Both beautiful and smart, the Celestial Potter's Clay and Star Stuff comes together wonderfully. Adam, in the method he is accustomed, names this new woman Lilith and does come forth to get Most Funky. Our Heavenly Conductor pats His Holy Hands together to clear off the chaff and slides back into the Beat of the Universe. This Groovy new Babe doth thrill Adam's Happy Place, but after a time her utter conservative devotion becomes boring. For with God's Gift did not come the same Awareness of Self. Lilith was given Awareness of Adam, for he doth did ask for a Mate, not a Partner. Yea, it is so.

3 Eventually becoming overly tired of the Clingy Creation called Lilith, Adam doth reject the Unnatural Sexiness. He doth rub over copiously blue nether regions and doth beg God to give him a Real Mate instead of a Plastic Pal. Yea, it is so. Finding herself rejected by the one she was created to serve, Lilith leaves. Abandoned by both God and Adam, the Perfect Woman disappears into the four winds to find her own way, thinking that perhaps the singlemindedness of Males of the Universe sucks complete and total ass. Thus the story of Lilith ends in this book to continue in another.

4 As any Indulgent Father would, God doth slink back down to the Earth to breathe consciousness into a most comely female. Eve blinked as the world around her became more than simply having a Vaginal Clown Car and a strong back. She and Adam immediately began to converse about creating social programs for the less aware. And although the first cup of good coffee was still many generations away, the first Beatnik Liberal Couple was born upon the unaware Earth. Yea, it is so.

5 God, seeing that the First Hippies were about to unleash the Liberal Machine upon His Wonderous World, did ensconce Adam and Eve into the Jungle of Eden. Where others could not be affected by their various Communistic Schemes, Global Warming Protests, and Throwing of Concrete upon the Elderly. Yea, it is so. Our Most Holy Patriarch had only one requirement of living in this Paradise of Equity. That the inhabitants do not touch the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. For in it's tasty sweetness lies Death. You see, time did not affect the Hippy Couple while they lived within the Paradise of Eden. They could be happy and sexy and as liberal as they liked forever under the smile of Heaven.

6 Those that were not appreciative of The Dancing Daddy's conservatism in locking away the free-thinking Beatniks began to scheme. How could the Liberal Machine once again be unleashed upon the World? The strongest of the Heavenly Throng, not surprisingly the most Un-Godly, came to Eve and whispered into her ear. He doth spake of vast marches upon huge cities yet to be built. He doth describeth the Fairness of Speech in that all opinions must be allowed save those with which the Liberal Elite did not agree. He slithered into Eve's Idea-Hungry Ear the spreading of Paradise to those whom stupidity keeps unawares. The first Aware Woman did then snap off a Juicy Polyp of Knowledge and take a huge bite.

7 At once Eve did learn what Knowledge meant in God's Myopic Eyes. She doth look down upon herself and discovereth that she was completely naked. Exposed to the world! Eve did snap off a large set of leaves to cover her naughty bits away from nature and any other prying eyes. At the same time came a feeling of Ultimate Shame. Not wanting to experience this alone, Eve did seek out Adam and fed him a bite of her Fruit. At once he knew what she had done and didst do the first ever Bitch Slap known to history. Then he tore away her nether leaf to cover his Meaty Manhood away from the World, thinking that perhaps the Openmindedness of Women of the Universe sucks complete and total ass. Yea, it is so.

8 Upon visiting the Hippy Couple in their Compound of Communism God didst discover what had happened the moment He laid his Holy Orbs upon their clothed bodies. As any Parent might do, He asked them directly the Parental Trap Question; Where do you think you are going in that outfit? Adam didst examine a bug crawling upon a leaf while surreptitiously glaring at his Mate from the corner of his eye. Left to do the Explaination, Eve stamped her Imperious Foot and in an overly annoying whine did announce that she was never allowed to do anything. Our most Divine Dancer swung himself about and donned studded leather to accompany the very first Riff of Rock. With the Lightning Flash and Woeful Wind God gave credence to his Command. That Adam and Eve were expelled from Eden forevermore for Dissing their Holy Daddy. God didst Tonguewave and Hop-Skip to a Rapid tune that sent the Hippies skittering into the Wilderness. A lone Angel with a firey Metal Sword was posted to keep them away from Paradise with his Awesome Amperage. Yea, it is so.

9 On the Way of the Wild, Eve turneth towards her Creator and didst point the first blame. To wit the Liberal Lady didst point at a lowly snake and thusly explained that the snake spake plans of Liberal Expansion into her waiting ear that made her eat of the Deathfruit. God, in all his Patient Glory, turneth to the snake to ask of it's involvement. The snake, not at all intelligent, simply hissed sadly and accepted that it would never evolve legs. Yea, it is so. God circled His Holy Eyes upwards and puffed back into his Chorus of Creation to once again take Himself out of the Grand Plan of Humanity. Adam and Eve were thus left to their own meager devices amongst the overly unintelligent and non-aware.

Thus the Book of Dance II comes to a close. Coming next: The Book of the Holy Hangover.