1 In the beginning, there was God. As in all beginnings and endings there is the beginner and the ender, thus it is so in this writing. Although the reader is invited to disagree it is, in this volume, generally accepted that God is there even when we are not. In all faiths this is so save for those who believe nothing and lift their shoulders in bewilderment without an explanation of the beginning. Yea, it is so.
2 God saw that He was alone without substance and waved a Godly Appendage to begin the Music of Life. And He began to get funky, yea it is so. The clothes of the living God did sway to and fro, to and fro, bouncing about in wobbly wiggly fashion as God began to groove upon the sounds of His/Her lovely aural creation. As the movement of God in the new music did bump and grind, thusly were borne the heavenly angels. Who henceforth went about the business of backup singing for the Almighty. Yea, it is so.
3 And in the wonderous first holy boogie of the one living God there was much scraping of materials. With each bump of the Almighty Body upon other portions of the Almighty Body there came about a great cataclysm. Portions of His robes rubbing most groovily against other portions of His robes created, with each strike, a new Universe in which the angels would sing. Yea, it is so.
4 One mote sparking from the robes of God begat the universe in which everything we know resides. One mote exploding inward on a new space, created by the loving music and motion of our Heavenly Conductor, began the heavens. Yea, it is so. And with the motion of the celestial ocean was caused many collisions, the likes of which created the beginning materials of the known cosmos. Thusly the periodic table was begat. Yea, it is so.
5 And with the spinning and stepping of the Almighty there was borne a force of nature. This force was Gravity. So very weak and so very strong at the same time. It is to everything Gravity applies and to every Graviton that returns to the Almighty. Yea, it is so. And in this fashion the created motes of the remnants of God's first Holy Two-Step were clouds created. And within these gaseous remnants was borne the very first superheated disco balls, known thusly as Stars. Yea, it is so.
6 One by one the stars did spin and the clouds did puff, causing in our new universe to be the first galaxies. On their own spinning within clouds and many more disco balls of the grooving God. Yea, it is so. Gravity did and does it's thing, moving and grooving the smallest of the small to enjoin the biggest of the big and thusly to continue the birth of more disco balls.
7 After a time, however, the first of the disco balls began to use too much of themselves in an attempt to burn the brightest for the Holy Dance. Thus these most bright gave one last ditch effort to be a part of the Almighty Rave by sparkling brighter than anything else in the new universe and expanding out their own clouds of newly minted metals and minerals. The Disco Balls in their exhuberance to flash in time with the bumpage of God did add to the periodic table. Yea, it is so.
8 The selfless act of these, the brightest of creations in the new universe, began what we know as Time. God did smile at the concept of linear creations, the life and the death, and He knew it was good for this new universe filled with bright lights and flashings and beautiful cosmic music. Yea, it is so. For everything there shall be a beginning and for everything there shall be an end. And each shall begin and end with the Cosmic Dance of God.
9 Now with the Gravity and Time and the Periodic Table (even as short as it is at the beginning), the Most Holy Universal Conductor continues to dance and the Angels continue to backup with perfect pitch. Many things, unexplainable and explainable, are wrought from the birth and death of stars. Be it noted that at this early stage none of these things wrought have any bearing on good or evil or the preaching thereof. All is Good. Yea, it is so.
10 And thusly ends the first chapter. The birth of the Universe has begun with the Holy Bump and Grind to continue in fashion in the next chapter. Yea, it is so.
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[Suddenly, from the back of the chapel emenates the sounds of a majestic pipe-organ starting up. And by 'majestic', we of course mean large enough to fill Pac Bell Park, with several of those really high- and low-pitched pipes that can't even be heard by dogs, only felt by the thin fibres of the soul. At the keyboard sits, of all men, The Organist, known also as Doctor Wesley Nathaniel Xzavier Morwick III, who sings out in his rich baritone voice:]
Morwick: Ooooooh, sing it loud, Sister, sing it prooooud! Preach me them wooooords, that reach into my heaaaart, and set fiii-iii-iii-iiire....to my SOOOOOOOOUUUULLLL!!!
[And with that, The Organist begins to play music that would make Pachelbel, Mozart and Brahms weep with pride...shortly before the Techno/Trance and True Disco begin to weave their magic into the music.]
[Much dancing follows.]
(In other words, Sister Animus, I like it I like it!)
- Wesley
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