Book of Dance I

1 With the beginnings of Time and the expansion of God's cosmic music came the inevitable branching out of the cosmos. New elements bumped and grinded together using gravity as glue, spinning amidst one another to create great waltzes and organized line dances. The elements bonded together as they danced to create solid lumps in the flickering void. God grinned at the solid lumps and waved His great Conductor's Hand to start a new Song to go with this new Dance.

2 This new song was pulsing and did Rock the House, indeed. For in the pulse of the cosmos was created specialty stars that lived far beyond their lifetimes to hang thusly in the heavens and pulse out God's Awesome Beat. Dig, children, the funky beat of the Almighty as it whonks it's way through the void to bless the many solid lumps in the flickering void. Yea, it is so. The death and birth of Pulsars did groove the Almighty in their backward awesomeness.

3 Although the strange nature of the Pulsar did please God it's sibling, the Black Hole, did have the Angels on high scratching their perfect heads in wonderment. For that which sucketh doth sucketh most hard. God clarified in His Mighty Tuneage, "For here we have a solid end to that which needs to end and a birth to that which needs to be born." And the most Awesome Conductor and Dance Teacher did smile at this giant Hole of Suck and bless it's presence as Holy Hoover, a Vaccuum of Kings. Yea, it is so.

4 As the universe did coalesce under the waving of God's Rocking Moves the solid lumps of rock did begin to cool and find their own rhythms. Circling the Discoballs even as the Discoballs circled one another. Yea, it is so. And in time the Most Holy did cause a Hailstorm of Glitterati in the form of meteorites to become meteors to seed many of the Rocky Host. For even in their rocky solidness, many rocks were void of necessary elements without the help of Celestial Hurlings. Yea, it is so.

5 Now is the separation of Universal Things into the Specific Things to which those reading this tome should be attending. For the Universal Things have split into their own Specific Things in the eyes of the Most Holy Awesome God. Those believing that ours is the only Special Snowflake of the Heavens would be most awfully mistaken, for God is unlimited, omnicient, and omnipresent. The Rocking Beat of our Funktastic Father extends throughout everything that existeth. Yea, it is so. And although most of our Awesome Conductor's creatures cannot see past their own nosetips it is widely known that God was never so small as to focus on just one ball of rock. Doth Check Thyself.

6 Upon one small newborn Discoball, happily pulsing in the Celestial Rave, we find ourselves to be focusing. For this is what we know. Yea, it is so. The many meteors and sandy chunks did hurl into the area around the happy Star, thus catching in it's unusually high Groovy Gravity and circling. And God did send His Awesome Tidal Wave of Sound over this beginning Dance and bless it with everything necessary. For what Father stands so close to a Child as to inhibit growth? The watched pot doth not boil and too many Holy Handouts makes for a spoiled brat. Yea, it is so.

7 This happy Discoball, which should henceforth be known as The Sun, did Spin and Spew and Rock to the Funky Beat. The gasses and elements coalesced around it in Heavenly Hoops that did wobble to the Pulse. Some more gas, some more rock. All blessed and smiled upon by our Most High Happy Pappy. Yea, it is so. And as was always the design the elements and charged explosive ions that make up all of God's Universe came together in a way that made them move independent of the Motion of the Celestial Ocean. Thus began the Dance of Life. And the Heavens were Overjoyed. For this Dance was began in many places in many different ways.

8 Growth is a constant in this Rocking Universe, children. Growth and Death are synonymous with Time. And God is synonymous with all. Thus the motes of life were snuffed out in the Cataclysmic Mosh Pit. For the Angels on High that did sing the backup Grooves of God were beginning to see the Grand Plan. And although the Almighty Funky Conductor did smite them across thir grills and allow the Dance of Life to begin again on the next best ball of rock, some of Them were still convinced that only the Celestial Beings of the Backup Choir should be Uppermost.

9 The small moving creatures on the Rotating Rock, heretofore known as Earth (How Non-Creative can you get?), moving independently did Rock most Hard. Yea, it is so. For with the absence of Holy Handouts only the strongest and ablest were able to procreate and expand. Grasses, fish, birds, beasts, all fought for the ability to procreate and thus gained a toehold on this new Earth. In God's time came something resembling the form of our Holy Conductor and thus gained His/Her Wonderous Attention. Some of his Backup Group became, once again, jealous. For who could sing better and deserve more than a Golden Throated Angel of Funk?

10 In the gaze of the Universe, in the pulsing Beat of Heaven, in the Spinning Disco Light, our Heavenly Father did breathe a Consciousness Popper into the nose of one of these creatures resembling divinity. One called Adam did wake with a most auspicious snort. Yea, it is so. And thus looked about at what he had only seen as screwing and death to find that there was something more. Thus ends this chapter of the Book of Dance.